Progressive Values

Although leaning towards the traditional viewpoint, I occasionally enjoy reading blogs which lean towards another view. One of my favourites is http://heymisssmith.blogspot.co.uk/

I recently came across this little gem on her blog

The Traditional Values Range. 

There’s no need for excessive financial outlay. Every child in the country can and should have access to a fine traditional education.

Easy to implement in any setting, The Traditional Values Range is guaranteed to introduce the necessary solemnity and gravitas to any educational institution.

A historic site and teachers of many years’ experience are completely unnecessary. The Traditional Values Range comes flat packed and easy to assemble.

The Range includes:

Individual school mantra containing the word ‘knowledge’

Billboard sized Thomas Arnold quote.

Industrial tape to instantly create traditional lining up spaces.

An antique school bell picture.

A mahogany effect plaque with future ‘graduation date’ of each class.

A polyester gown and traditional mortar board for The Principal.

A pine plinth for award ceremonies.

A cardboard ‘Oxbridge’ turret and stone cladding for attaching to the outside of your premises.

A year’s supply of the latest all-in-one textbook ‘The  Traditional Curriculum’  from educational giants Pear Tree Publishing.

In addition, the first fifty purchases will receive access to lacrosse and Latin coach for half an hour a term

What are you waiting for?

Get traditional!

Only

£1999.99

While stocks last.

I decided to do one of my own, taking another view.

The Progressive Values Range.

There’s no need for excessive financial outlay. Every child in the country can and should have access to a fine progressive education.

Easy to implement in any setting, The Progressive Values Range is guaranteed to introduce the necessary child centred approach to any educational institution.

An open plan site and teachers of many years’ experience are completely unnecessary. The Progressive Values Range comes flat packed and easy to assemble.

The Range includes:

Individual school mantra containing the words “journey” and “creativity”

Billboard sized quote “Imagination is more important than knowledge”

A clothes line and pegs to create progressive displays dangling from the ceiling.

A picture of a laughing reception class/year 7 child under the slogan “Lifelong learning”.

A baseball cap with the words “Lead Learner” for the Chief Progress Leader (Head teacher)

A collection of gigantic gold stars and a giant sized box of sweets for Celebration of Progress assemblies

A cardboard mural with painted representations of  children standing under a rainbow, for attaching to the outside of your premises.

An IRIS camera in every classroom to ensure that all progress leaders (teaching staff) are complying with the latest Facilitation of Learning policy.

A model disciplinary procedure to be used with any teacher found to be engaged in cruel Victorian practices such as (1) whole class teaching or (2) seating children in rows facing the front.

In addition, the first fifty purchases will receive a supply of Prozac every term!

What are you waiting for?  Get progressive! Only £1999.99 While stocks last.

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